AI knows where I live...

...we might have to move.

I’m helping my mom produce three books of her writing—poetry, short stories, and memoir. It’s been a fun and challenging project, and was going well until I found myself in an odd situation that sent me straight into the cold and frustrating arms of AI (that’s Artificial Intelligence, not Artificial Insemination.)

I found an artist through fiverr.com to create a cover for the first book. It was lovely!

Here’s the first cover:

(It now says “poetry by Irene Friend” but I can’t find that version.)

The cover artist accepted the order to make the cover for the second book…then got sick, overwhelmed, and totally bailed. Suddenly I had to find a way to create two more covers that looked like they belonged to a trilogy that included the first book. I struggled—couldn’t find anyone. How do you ask an artist to copy the style of another? Human artists aren’t AI artists…

Wait. AI. I already owned the image for the first cover, and I’d recently read that AI could create based on a sample. What if AI could create the second and third covers to look like they belonged with the first one?

I learned how to use ChatGPT last fall when my friend Mary showed me how to make some images for a presentation I was giving. I wasn’t profiting from the images…just wanted to have visuals for my presentation. Same thing here—Mom isn’t selling the books, but giving them to friends and family.

The process starts when you ask ChatGPT to create a specific image. Mary said she decided to approach AI with politeness: “Could you please create an image of ___? Thank you.”

Her thinking, and I concurred, was that when AI takes over the world, perhaps the ChatGPT AI would remember we were kind and considerate, so I diligently I followed Mary’s advice to say “please” and “thank you.” I was always calm and cool and professional. My motivation? When AI takes control of our heating and electrical systems in 2037, I want to be on its list of “Nice Enough to AI That She Deserves Heat During the Winter.”

ChatGPT often goes its own way, requiring that I gently guide it back to what I needed. It created a popcorn explosion, not the look I was going for:

Who knows what it was thinking here:

Every time I asked ChatGPT to make a change, it would make it but then change something else at the same time. It was driving me crazy, so I started a new technique: After gently requested a change, I’d add, “Please do not change anything else.”

It responded well to that, and we’re happy with the current version:

I dove into designing the third cover. ChatGPT was oddly helpful. When I asked it to create an image of 5 flowers, it did, then asked if I’d like to know what the specific flowers stood for. “Yes, please,” I responded. This was great! It asked if I’d like a high-resolution version. “Yes, please.”

I asked it to remove the sun in the background. It did. I asked it to change “Memories” to “Memoir.” It did.

I felt the cover was close to completion when I saw it: Magnificemt. Gaack! I gently asked the program to correct “Magnificemt” to “Magnificent.”

A few minutes later ChatGPT proudly proclaimed. “I’ve made the change you requested.”

Ah, no. The word was still misspelled.

I tried asking another way.

A few minutes later ChatGPT proudly proclaimed. “I’ve made the change you requested.”

No, no! The word was still misspelled. By now I am yelling at the screen. Mom poked her head into the room but wisely backed away without engaging with The Enraged Cover Creator.

I asked ChatGPT for this correction at least four times. I was tired, frustrated, and not thinking about who, or what, would be controlling my access to heat in 2037, so I lost it.

I went all-caps on ChatGPT’s ass. I hit the CAPS LOCK and let ‘er rip: YOU ARE DOING THIS WRONG. YOU ARE NOT MAKING THE CHANGE I WANT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! CHANGE MAGNIFICEMT TO MAGNIFICENT RIGHT NOW!

I watched the little spinning disk as the AI digested my fury, considered its options, then presented me with this cover:

Beneath the image, ChatGPT rather meekly wrote, “I’ve made the change you requested.”

I wanted to reply: ABOUT TIME YOU CHEAP ASS SORRY EXCUSE FOR INTELLIGENCE!”

Instead, I said, “Thank you.”

Will that be enough to keep our heat and electricity on? Or will ChatGPT report me to the AI Overlords?

I fear Melissa and I could find ourselves quite chilly come the winter of 2037.

Thanks for reading. :-)